Ch10. How To Let Go Of An Old Identity Without Guilt

The closer you get to the life you actually want, the louder your past can get. That’s the moment many people mistake discomfort for a warning sign, when it’s often a test of character and commitment. I talk about why growth can feel hardest right before a breakthrough, and why the real challenge isn’t “letting go” in theory, but surviving the void between an old identity and a new one without crawling back for comfort.

If you’re in a chapter of transition, tune in and discover some ways to navigate your transition. Subscribe and share this with someone who’s outgrowing their old life. 

Transcript

The Harder It Gets Near Growth

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And the truth is, the closer you get to becoming that person, the harder it becomes. You will be tested. Your past will keep resurfacing in so many different ways just to see if your character can handle the person that you're becoming. Nobody talks about how hard it is to let go of an old identity. And it's not necessarily the letting go part that's hard, but it's navigating the void in between that makes letting go hard. It's so easy when you're in that void to keep looking back and to take one last look at your old life and that old version of yourself. No matter how much you want to embrace, no matter how much you want to embody and experience the new identity, it's still so easy to look for that comfort in the old identity because it's all you've ever known until now. But here's the catch that one last look could literally cost you every single step you've made to step into the direction of your new identity. And the truth is the closer you get to becoming that person, the harder it becomes. You will be tested, your past will keep resurfacing in so many different ways, just to see if your character can handle the person that you're becoming. So, how do you fully let go of an old identity without feeling guilty for changing and without the self-judgment? And the biggest one without feeding into the fear of judgment from others. I've written down three things that could possibly help you if you're navigating shifting from an old identity and embracing a new one. And these are things I've personally applied during my own personal life transitions. The first thing is acceptance. You need to accept that you are no longer the same person. You are evolving, you're becoming, or maybe you've already evolved. Remind yourself that it's okay to evolve and it's okay to change for the better. Life is about learning, growing, and becoming. So if you're still the same person that you were three years ago, you're probably missing the point. Imagine being 40 years old and still being in your three-year-old body. That wouldn't make any sense now, would it? Your evolution needs to match your life and your reality. So that means your environment, your relationships, connections, habits, mindset all need to align with your new identity. The second thing is to release. You need to fully release anything that still ties you to your old identity. That can look like changing your environment, letting go of relationships, friendships, family ties, habits, old ways of doing, being, and thinking that no longer feel aligned with your new identity. I know this is probably the hardest part for most people because this requires embracing walking a lonely path and unlearning everything that you had normalized. It requires you to put yourself out there and find the environments, relationships, connections. And it requires you to put yourself out there and find new environments, relationships, connections. And it also requires you to develop the habits and mindset that are aligned with who you're becoming. It's been normalized to stay in places that are no longer aligned with who you're becoming, to stay in relationships and keep connections out of obligation in the name of loyalty and also justifying your old ways of doing and being, as that's just who you are. But if you really want to become that virgin you envision, or rather become that version you're being called to become, you need to release all the things that are weighing you down and keeping you in that void. The third and final thing is commitment. You need to fully commit to becoming that person. Commitment starts with making a firm decision. You need to decide that you are going to do whatever it takes to get in alignment with who you're becoming. You need to commit to moving forward and not look back for any reason because looking back will only keep you stuck in that void. Now, I want to add that this can and should be done from a place of love and gratitude. You can still love people and not have them in your life. You can still be grateful for the environments, experiences, and habits that shaped and taught you some of the hardest but most profound lessons of your life. When you learn to do this, it becomes so much easier. And you'll also naturally release the need to explain yourself for choosing to evolve and fully align with your new identity. Remember, at the end of the day, you were born alone, and the harsh truth is you're gonna die alone. You are here on earth on your own unique life journey and for a specific life purpose. Part of your journey is meeting people, being in environments, and obtaining habits and ways of being that will support you in your evolution to becoming who you were created to be. So if you're in a chapter of transition, whatever that may look like for you, I want to encourage you today to stay the course and don't look back. Until next time, take care of yourself, take time for yourself, and be kind to yourself.